Managing the bathroom scale

In out series "Getting ready for the reunion" we need to talk about your bathroom scale. First, let me assure you: no one cares about your bathroom scale. Whether you are big, small, tan, white as a ghost, frizzy hair, or completely bald - your friends and classmates want to see you and share memories.

Nevertheless, many will unnecessarily feel the need to drop a few pounds. It is for those individuals that this series is being written.

Experts say safe weight reduction is a pound or two per week. During weight reduction our scales become our friends when they say something we like, and become discouraging when they don't. How often should you weigh yourself during your journey of preparation? Some experts say daily, and some say weekly. I disagree with both camps.

The scale is not an accurate measure of a diet and workout plan. There are too many variables that contribute to your weight: muscle mass, bone density, time of day, hydration, and did you use the restroom (for a few examples). Did you know that if you drink a 16oz beverage your weight can increase by a pound?

Imagine a diet where you expect to lose a pound this week but you drank a 16oz coffee and now the scale says your diet is blown! Or, if you aren't managing hydration very well, the reverse might happen giving you a temporary gift that is quickly taken away as you rehydrate.

Weight fluctuates every day, so, avoid discouragement and don't weigh daily.

Instead weigh weekly on the same day at the same time. Weighing weekly will spread those weight fluctuations over 7 days giving you a better chance to see a reduction.

However, I recommend doing 14 day comparisons to reduce the fluctuations even further. When you weigh weekly compare the results to two weeks ago. It is very possible to have wild weight fluctuations within even 7 days. So spread the comparison out over as many days as you can.

If you are dieting and exercising and having a calories deficit your weight will go down over time. If you were to plot your weight daily you might see the weight bounce all over the graph, but, have a general downward slope to the average.

Since the point of getting on the scale is to gain encouragement, you should set yourself up for success. Avoid discouraging short term comparisons and do comparisons over very long time periods.

No time to work out?

In our series for getting ready for the reunion:

Don't want to go to the gym? Can't afford a personal trainer? No time to work out? Not motivated?

All you need is 12 minutes, a living room, and this website will give you all the motivation you need:
Http://bodyrock.tv

Now you have no excuses!

Following our series 'Getting ready of the Reunion", this commercial should get you motivated.

Are You Fat?

People avoid reunions because they think they are fat. Are you obese? If you are using a 200 year old Body Mass Index (BMI) chart, then you probably are! The BMI divides your height (in meters) by your weight (in kilograms) to give you a number that tells you how fat you are. While BMI is widely used to judge us, we need to put the BMI into perspective. Don't let the BMI determine whether or not you'll attend your reunion.


If you aren't carrying any extra weight, the BMI considers you to be normal. Can you "pinch an inch"? Then the BMI probably doesn't consider you normal. Normal is if you look good in a bikini (women) or shirtless (guys) at the beach. Maybe that was you at age 17, but lets be honest: a lot of water has gone over that damn during more than two decades!

One step below normal is underweight. If we can see rib cages and arm bones then you may need to eat more pasta and get your weight back up. Rib cages and arm bones are not attractive. 25 years out of high school, I suspect few (if any) of us have this problem.


If you can pinch an inch (or more) then you are probably overweight - ie - you carry some fat. You can be classified as overweight for lots of other reasons too: perhaps you have high muscle density, large bones, or are blessed with ginormous boobs. Some extra weight is OK in time of famine or illness. There have been many cases where individuals who were underweight died while battling the flu because their body didn't have enough in reserve. In the US, I think that overweight has become the new normal.



The next level on the BMI scale is a word that has been demonized in pop culture: obese. When you hear the word obese your mind races to images of the 800 pound man who couldn't get out of bed. Not true. Obese simply means: if you are 20% over from your normal weight. For most of us that means we've enjoyed too many Christmas cookies and over the years it has added up. The concern is that most experts believe health problems can begin to occur when you carry around 20% fat all day long, so health experts will encourage you to get this weight down. I'm not a health professional so my opinion is worthless, regardless, I see many people who would be in the obese category and they look normal to me. Maybe they aren't hitting the beach in a bikini, but that's OK. If you are obese and are happy - forget the media stereotypes and be comfortable with yourself.

The next level on most BMI scales is Extremely Obese, which is a BMI above 40. I've had periods in my life where I have packed on the pounds but I dare say I have never been in this category. Frankly, I could not imagine the pain and discomfort of being extremely obese. At my heaviest I had difficulty with mobility, sleeping, and getting comfortable - I can't imagine what it must be like for these poor souls. If you have slipped into the category then I encourage you to talk with your doctor about getting a plan together. Get a person trainer - yes they are expensive, but worth it. Use a network of friends to help you stay on track. Just because you tried in the past and it didn't work? Doesn't mean you haven't found the thing that'll work for you. It isn't easy, but I would encourage you to take back your life.




At the end of the day, regardless of where you fall on the BMI? The world is made up of a variety of people. They come in all shapes and sizes. Our class is no different than the rest of the world. We have each had our own difficulties and challenges, successes and triumphs, and those must be measured by something other than our waistline.

Getting ready for the reunion.... using your iphone!

If you are getting ready for the 25th anniversary reunion, you might be tempted to try shedding a few pounds. Let me promise you: that is not necessary. We all know that the guys have lost their hair and the girls have lost there figures - it has been 25 years! Come as you are! But regardless, if you are tempted to look better, you can take advantage of the digital age to help your quest. Whether you have an iPhone, iPad, or an iPod Touch, these are some great applications:

My Fitness Pal - Free - This app will give you an outstanding food log to record calories and exercise. You can take a picture of a UPC bar code and it will translate that into a food log entry. The app helps you to set goals and track progress.

Nike+ GPS - $1.99 - This app is marketed to runners but works just as well for walkers too. The app tracks your movement on a map, will tell you about your progress, and will provide motivation through your accomplishments. I usually don't like to pay for apps, but this one is worth it.

Heartbeat - Free - Maintaining a high heart rate during work outs is a great way to burn calories. This application lets you determine your heart rate by tapping on the screen in coordination with your heart beat. This app is free but paid versions will let you log your heart rate.

Monumental - Free - Get out of your office chair and go climb the stairs! This app makes stair climbing fun by tracking how high you've climbed and giving you prizes the more you go.

Meal Maker - Free - Getting your meals under control is a great way to get your waist under control. Meal Maker will let you enter your family's favorite meals (hopefully low-cal), build them into a day-by-day menu, and produce a grocery list.

Body Fitness - Free - If you've done resistance training then you know what a pain it is to keep track of sets, reps, and weights. This app includes a fitness journal so you know what needs to be done each day. It also includes diagrams of exercises so you know you are doing them right.

As with all exercise programs, consult a doctor before starting. What Apps have you found that are useful?

Footloose remake

If you are an 80's child then you are familiar with the movie Footloose. Kevin Bacon's character goes to a sleepy rural town that has outlawed dancing. Thanks to Kevin and tunes from Kenny Logins, they challenge the towns laws and bring dancing back.

I don't recall that I ever watched footloose in entirely. I think I have caught portions of the movie on TV. I have never seen footloose on stage either (or local high schools perform Footloose regularly). But I have seen enough of the movie to understand it's plot.

Linda and I watched the remake on opening weekend. The theater was packed with a cross section of many ages: the elderly (who would have been in their 30's when the original movie came out), the 80's children, and a large number of youth.

The remake followed the original script closely and deviated only when it made sense to do so. Much of the music was from the original movie, but they did add some modern music to mix things up.

Overall, the remake was excellent. It was a nice trip down memory lane. Whether you decide to pull the original movie off your shelf (God forbid you have in on VHS) or you decide to watch the remake - I recommend you watch footloose this weekend!

Ten years later

I was in a business meeting when Linda called me to say that a plane flew into a World Trade Tower. I dismissed it until she called back to say a second plane hit the towers. We turned on the conference room television and watched 9-11 unfold. On the way home from work that day I noticed the roads were empty and strangely the sky was empty too. You don't realize how you become use to seeing planes trail across the sky until there are none - all grounded due to what happened.

9-11 defined our 30's. The wars we caught, the sacrifices we made, the people we elected, and the nation we became were forged in in that 110 minutes on 9-11.

Where were you on 9-11?

Remake of Dirty Dancing

Many of the great 80s movies are getting (or have received) a remake. Footloose is coming out in a few months. Talks are underway for a new Wolverines movie (not the comic book hero, the one about high school teenagers fighting the communists). And next? Dirty Dancing!

Kenny Ortega choreographed the original and is responsible for the wildly successful High School Musical Disney series. He is returning to direct the remake.

The real question: can the magic of Dirty Dancing be captured a second time? If you are a fan of the High School Musicals, the answer is probably "yes" and you could suggest a few of the actors for it! Kidding aside, Ortega has a lot to live up to.

ET is not the same

Remember seeing E.T. when it first came out at the movie theatre? It was a smash hit! It made Ressee Pieceies a household product and launched the career of Drew Barimore. The images from E.T., such as the bicycle flying across the moon, are unforgetable.

I decided to recreate the magic by renting E.T. For the kids (and me too). To my surprise, the kids were bored and didn't make it even half way through the movie.

What happened to this classic movie's popularity? Like everything popular: it has been overdone. The theme of an alien befriending a child is now a common theme throughout media. From Katie and Orby (PBS) to Transformers - it has been done and redone countless times. Today, that classic movie is just another knock-off of a tired theme.

For a scarce few of us, E.T. was a pivitol movie whose impact was huge yet momentary. Future generations might become completly unaware of this classic and its impact on modern lore.

MY FIRST CAR

My first car was a tiny green Toyota station wagon. My neighbors (the Wallace's) won it as a Grub Mobile at the Fourth of July and offered to sell it to me. I had dream of Grease Lightening as I worked on the paint job and cleaned the interior.

The car was a standard. I didn't know how to drive a standard, but I was determined to learn. in the meanwhile, I was content with coasting short distances in one gear.

No matter how hard I worked on the exterior, the car had a serious engine problem. After two weeks, I learned the gasket was shot. the car was worthless, so, I made arrangements to have the car towed to auction. The Wallaces felt bad for me, so they gave my money back to me (something they didn't have to do). Their action seems alien in today's world, but was just how people did things in Andover.

My first car lasted only two weeks!

My second car was a silver 1980 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme. Linda and I were heading off to college together and needed a car, so, we went in together and bought it. It was a car we couldn't afford separately, but we could swing it together.

I learned my winter driving skills by driving that heavy rear-wheeled-drive car around the snow belts of Batavia. It was hot in the summer and cold in the winter, but it had a strong V8.

During my second year of college, someone ran a red light and T-Boned the passenger side. Linda's brother (a mechanic) was able to fix it. We drove that car through the 90's until we needed a mini van. At that pint, my brother-in-law transplanted the V8 into his truck.

I often tell people that the silver Cutlass Supreme was my first car. Few people know the truth though. My real first car was a piece of junk grub mobile!

WOOD TAG

Do you remember playing Wood Tag?

Once upon a time, Andover wanted a playground. After a massive fund raising effort, a giant community gathering was held to build the playground. I remember showing up to help. My job was to shovel gravel around the playground, which I did enthusiastically. I worked into the evening until the last worker came to take my shovel and put it away for the night.

That wooden playground stood for probably twenty years. Then, several children in other parts got slivers from wooden playgrounds and became very sick. That resulted in tens of thousands of communities across the nation turning to panic and chain sawing their playgrounds into saw dust.

Before all that happened, it was our playground and we spent many hours playing on it throughout our teen years. Our favorite game is a game that is long gone - lost to the wood chips of past playgrounds and weakly replaced my similar version. Our game was Wood Tag.

What was wood tag? It was a simple game of tag but you could only walk on wood. You could go anywhere on the playground and do anything you needed to do so long as your feet remained on the wood. The moment you stepped off - you lost and became "it". And like any game of tag, if you were it, you had to chase and tag everyone else.

We would often play tag deep into the night. Then lay on the picnic tables and watch airplanes pass over the night sky as pinpoints of light.

Those were the days. That was our playground. And wood tag was our game.

TIME MACHINE: CLASS OF 88 TV

What are you doing this weekend? Why not 'stay in' and watch 88-TV?

What is so great about 88-TV? It is a real live time machine. You are watching a window into the past. You are seeing your classmates and friends as they once were. You'll see some goofy and funny things that will make you smile. And it will bring back memories of good times.

Around 2005, I built a streaming media server to host my family's home movies. The media server played on channel 75 on every TV in the house. At anytime during the day, we could flip to Channel 75 to relive a vacation, or a birthday, or a special Holiday.

To enhance the streaming server, I built scripts that changed the content depending upon the season and the month. For example, at Christmas time we would see Christmas video. And during the summer time, we would see summer vacation video. I then bought the Gilbert Internet TV domain and made the station available on the Internet.

As the 2008 reunion approached, I took a collection of the Class of 88 videos and created a special Class of 88 channel. With 88-TV, alumni could watch video from the school yearbook, old plays, sporting events, and more.

But then in 2009... my streaming video server died. The capacitors on the motherboard burst and the board smoked. Gilbert-TV and 88-TV went dark.

Today, with the aid of LiveStream, 88-TV is back on the air! And the quality is much better. I have added almost 5 hours of video that continually rotates all day long. In the coming months, I'll have even more video to add. I'm always looking for contributions, so please dig through your old videos and submit something for 88-TV.

What are you doing this weekend? Come climb inside the time machine with me. Lets take the Dalorean up to 88mph and go back in time... to 1988.

The Spaghetti-O kid

I moved from Corning to Andover during Labor Day weekend, 1983. The move was exhausting and my life was turned upside down. Everything we owned was in boxes scattered around the house and I had school the next day.

I was starved and there was no food in the house yet. So I walked up to the Trading Post and bought a can of Spaghetti-O's. There were kids hanging around the trading post, but I knew no one. I just took my dinner and walked back home.

The first day of school, Lisa was the first one to speak to me. Did she say "Welcome to Andover, let me show you around!" Ha. This is Lisa, right? She said "How were those Spaghetti-O's" and then laughed. Apparently, she was one of the people at the Trading Post that night. After she said that I was sure I would be branded the Spaghetti-O kid! Luckily, it was soon forgotten... Until I wrote about it just now.

And yes. As I recall, those Spaghetti-O's were mighty fine!

Classmate Publishes Second Book

The second book, entitled Her Demons of Passion by Julia Becca was released in July. It appears to be an exciting mystery romance of sorts. Who is Julia Becca and why should we care? Julia Becca is the pen name for one of our classmates - Debbie H! Look for the book on Amazon and order your copy today! And for fun, listen to the August 88-Podcast for an exciting reading from the book by your 88-Podcast stars.

BASEBALL

I played one season of baseball in high school. It was during my junior year. Every spring, I worked at Kents Farms planting Christmas Trees and every summer I pruned them. But I wanted my junior year to be different and I would have done anything to get out of going to Kents every day after school that spring. Baseball was the perfect excuse!

I had played little league and baseball and neighborhood ball until I moved to Andover. I just didn't have a lot of interest in the game - been there, done that.

My first experience was at Coach Gill's Store where we bought socks and everything for our uniform. I wasn't expecting to buy those things, but I was mowing a dozen yards every weekend so it wasn't a big deal.

My next memory is from the first practice. We had just finished running around the entire field when I decided to get mouthy with Coach Gill. I remember Pete saying "shut up or he'll make us all run another lap". I think that was the only time I questioned Coach's wisdom.

During practice, I was knocking the balls out of the park. That earned me the name "Hondo!" Which I took proudly. Unfortunately, sports are only partially about physical might. There is a great deal of psychology too. Even though I was knocking them out of the park during practice, during games I became psyched by the pitcher and couldn't hit anything. I've heard this can be a common problem. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that was my problem until the season was nearly over otherwise I could have worked on it.

I remember when Pete was upset during a game and pitched with fire. He had a nearly perfect game! I remember when Tank made a diving catch of a foul ball and was knocked out cold. I remember Johnny doing batting practice in the gym and the ball slipped out of his hand, hit the wall, and bounced right back into his hands as if nothing had happened. And I remember learning a lot from Coach Gill. Coach could be tough, but players listened to him and respected him.

A final memory I have involved a terrific catch I made - my best play! Left field was my domain. It was pretty boring. Coach kept a good player in Center Field (I can't remember who was there. Was it Big Guy?) And it was the left and right field's job to back him up. It was very boring. But every time I heard the crack of a bat, my entire body lifted off the field ready to run. This time, it was a long hit down the baseline. I took off sprinting as fast as I could. I reached out with my glove and gave a little dive and snagged the ball out of the air! I made an impossible catch and it was the best play of my short baseball career.

I hope my trip down memory lane brought you memories too - whether it was baseball or softball or some other sport. I played other sports in high school, but I'll never forget the year I played baseball. I am glad I took a season off from work to play. Let this be a reminder to us all: life can't be all work! Take some time and go play!

KENT FARMS

While growing up, I worked at our family motel, mowed a dozen yards, and still found the time to work at Kent Farms with Christmas Trees.

When I was 15 my parents asked "what are you doing this summer?" They answered the question for me "you are getting a job." Uhm... Actually? A third job! But who's counting?

The spring before, I started at Kents planting christmas Trees. I was young and stupid and got mouthy with the older kids. As a result, Whitehouse (who had to be, what? 10 years older due to repeated grade failures) offered to exchange my nose with my elbow after I said something inappropriate about his mother and his birth. That was my first day on the job and was an important lesson I learned early on: some things just really aren't funny. (I am just kidding about that grade failure thing, please don't beat me up).

During the summer, I would get up early to work on the farm, then come home and mow lawns until dark, then work in the motel office and gift shop in the evening. It was a busy time for me, but I credit that experience for my incredible work ethic and lack of a work/life balance.

Planting trees was easy. Take two steps, dig a hole, drop in a sapling, smash the hole closed with a sledge, repeat. Pruning in the summer was more difficult. You needed a good top branch (called a leader) so the tree grew straight. Then you shaped the tree into a cone using a mashedy. You had to wield the razor sharp knifes without whacking the guy next to you, or yourself.

I worked at Kents with many people from our class including Jon, Kelly, Rich, and Tracey's brother (to name a few). While I hung out with many fellow workers, I remember Jon the most. I remember driving around the fields in an old military truck. Being chased out of the fields by swarms of angry bees. Kathy getting mad and going berserk - running around the field hacking apart trees. When they threw me I the pond (as a rite of passage) and I lost my glasses so someone went in the pond and found them for me. And the time we just arrived at the work site and Emery barfed all over the back of the truck.

The knifes were very sharp and could cut through anything. Including a boot! Which I found out the hard way. I swung at a low branch and the knife cut through my boot, through the nail, and cut the tip of my big toe in half! A bandage and some iodine and I was able to finish the work day.

We made sheaths for our knifes with metal so that when we drew them, they sounded like swords. And each year we developed new names for ourselves. One year, we were the henchmen.

My fondest memory is standing on Kents hill in a grove just after sunrise, watching the sun rise over the valley and the fog start to lift. That was beautiful.

I believe I worked at Kents for three years. It was a grand experience and I am very happy I had the opportunity. Kents was an incredible place to work while I was growing up.

ANDOVER FOURTH OF JULY 2010

The Andover 4th of July 2010 is coming up! Are you going? Did you already go and have some comments or memories you'd like to share?

HARRINGTON'S FLORIDA VACATION
By Mark Harrington

As the Harrington's take to road for their Family getaway. Day 1 was filled with minor nuggets of thrills.

1 ) leaving later than desired.
2) Having trouble with the roof rack carrier.
3) 6 different options for dinner, or at least it felt like it.
4) One car sick issue. ( which we planned for with catch buckets at every level of the vehicle.)
5) And rain and construction.

Over all not a bad go. Tonight we are in Dalton GA. Best Western is giving us a good deal on the room. They asked if I was a member of AARP or AAA. I said no. The lady says, AARP it is tonight for you.

SO.... Six of us cuddled together in 2 beds. Cause we only told them we had 4 total. So we are going to try and rest as we saddle up in the a.m. And head the rest of the way to Orlando.

Laptops/Gameboys and movies are doing the job. Let's hope the rental stays safe in the lots. ;-)

Reporting just off of I-75 - in Georgia

Mark and Family.
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WANT TO BUY CLASS OF 88 MERCHANDICE?

I work for a marketing company and we are doing a tremendous push into Social Media and Networking. It is a facinating topic, so, I'm spending tons of my spare time getting exposed to it and gaining experience with it. One of the ways I am expanding my knowledge is by working on the Class of 88 Website. I have expanded the website to offer more Web 2.0 experiences, and more Social Networking activities.

To add value to the website, I have opened the Class of 88 School Store. It has some basic merchandice related to the Class of 88 such as T-shirts, hats, and coffee mugs. The purpose of the store is to add value for alumni - not to make money. Therefore, the store has NO mark-up. I don't make any money on anything you purchase.

I hope you take a moment to visit the store and find something to purcahse. To go to the store, visit the Class of 88 website and click on the dollar bill sitting on the hallway floor.

ANYONE INTERESTED IN A PODCAST?

In preparation for my Disney vacation, I have been listening to a podcast named the Dis Unplugged. I found it very addicting and thought about doing one too. But what subject would I use?

I was chatting with Mark H and he reminded me about his Doctor Mac Podcasts that he did a while back. We started talking about a Class of 88 Podcast. It just seemed right! The more I explored the idea, the more it seemed like a possibility.

Later this month, Mark and I are going to give it a try. There are some technical challenges that still need to be worked out, but, I think we'll be OK. It should be a lot of fun!

I want to keep the show interesting and manageable. I believe that asking Andover Alumni to listen to a podcast is probably pushing reality. Getting some of them to commit to a 30 minute podcast once per month might be beyond reality. But who knows? If we keep it short, the time commitment for listeners might be reasonable. As far as keeping it manageable - preparing for and editing a podcast can be a huge time commitment. I am going to prep as much material in advance with the hope the show won't get neglected when life gets busy.

So, there will be a Class of 88 Podcast! And it'll get recorded later this month. Check the website to get a copy of it.

Ice Water Mansion is back for one more show! July 3, 2010 at the Andover School Grounds. Free Admission! All ages welcome. For more information:

Ice Water Mansion Main Page

THE GILBERT 2010 DISNEY TRIP

4-19-2010 200 pounds
We weighed our suitcases to make sure we didn't exceed any limits. We are checking 200 pounds of luggage!

2" too long
Bigger isn't better. One suitcase was 2 inch too long and we got charged $49 extra.

4-20-2010 Magical Express
For this trip, we signed up for magical express. It is magical because you bring your luggage to the airport and then you don't see it again until it magically appears in your room. It is express because the luggage appears at 1 am while everyone is trying to sleep. Wait.... 1am? That's not express!

Buffets
Buffets are always a lot of fun for the Gilberts. The waitress is guaranteed a sweet 9 percent tip. My youngest always eats until he barfs. Someone always dumps a drink. And when we leave, we toss a few bananas and apples and other things in our backpacks for snacks later in the day (what are they going to say?).

Stroller
We consider ourselves to be Disney experts. That is why, even though our kids are 6, 10, and 16, we have no problem with bringing a stroller with us. Many people look at the stroller expecting to find a new born - one mother even said "shhh- the baby is sleeping". In actuality, when we go into the parks, it is like going camping for the week. We take six back packs. One security guard asked "are you guys moving in?" We have to have lots of bottles of water (not paying park prices!), sweat shirts, cameras, toys, towels, rain gear - all the necessities!

4-21-2010 Vacation Efficiency
This vacation is a perfect example of Gilbert Efficiency. When we return in the evening, we have a 15 point check list. In the morning, we have a 35 point checklist. This allows a family of 5 to get bathed, dressed, packed, eat, and get out the door in only 2 hours every morning. Waters repacked? Check. Toys put away? Check. Kids use the bathroom a billion times each? Check check. Shoes sprayed with Lysol to get the park germs removed? Check.

It's a small world
Monroe county usually schedules spring break at off peak times. I'm not sure whether it is intentional or the highly educated administrators at BOCES can't figure out when Easter falls. Either way, we benefit because we miss the rush.

Perhaps a quarter of the people here are from the Rochester region. I see the collection of sports shirts and business emblems and have talked with a few. At one show, they asked someone in the audience where they were from. After answering "Rochester NY", half the theater cheered.

It is funny that we have traveled so far to be with people who live so near.

World is built for short people
I am so tired of having my knees crammed into the seat in front of me. There is never enough leg room! On the bus ride between the airport and the hotel, I had to hang both legs into the isle, spilling across two rows. . With rides, I usually sit with a kid so I have extra room to put my legs.

Park Cycle
We have a somewhat annoying habit that has turned into our routine. Eat a snack, ride a ride, use the restroom, repeat. I thought girls were bad, but my boys have to go every 5 minutes!

We take sun tan lotion very seriously. We use Spf100. It is as thick as Spackle and we apply it with a putty knife.


4-22-2010 The Musical Family
For today? Some 3rd grade humor.

While at Disney world, our diets have been poor. Not that our diets are normally good. They have become worse. For example, a half pound double cheese and bacon burger (very very well done) seems to be on every menu, and I think the meat comes from expired game reserve inhabitants.

As a direct result of this horrible diet, we have become the musical family. It is not a pretty thing. In fact, it can bring tears to your eyes.

I haven't laughed so hard as I did last night. I was sitting at a bench when the mood struck. My daughter said very seriously "guys, I think the bench just vibrated". I laughed so hard, I fell off the bench, tears streaming down my face.

Ok. Sorry for the third grade humor. It was very funny.

We went miniature golfing last night. It took us 2 hours to figure out the bus system to get there. The theme was Santa's summertime vacation spot. Lots of fun.

Cheer!
Today, we are touring the various Disney resorts and checking out lobbies, restaurants, and the pools. We are currently at All Stars. There is a cheer leading competition and hundreds of cheerleaders are at All Stars. Lord have mercy.

We stumbled into a rather secluded Toy Story themed courtyard where several cheerleaders were sun bathing and attempting to erase tan lines. Not very healthy thing for the kids to see.

4-23-2010 Six Legged Friend
We have to deal with bugs in the North - but not like they do in the south! Yesterday evening, I went to retrieve the boy's bedtime snack from the refrigerator and found a cockroach inside. A short chase across the carpet and I killed it.

But that wasn't the challenging part. If my wife found out, she would make us throw away all of our food and tell the hotel to move us. She's probably right... But I didn't want to deal with that at 11pm. I just wanted to collapse in bed and sleep.

So, I bagged up all of our open food and tried to do it in a way she wouldn't see. Success! I just hope we don't bring any friends home inside our luggage!


Civilization
Perhaps 15 years ago, I came across a game named Civilization. I became thrilled with it when I was able to play the game in my car on a clunky 386 laptop. Civilization was a big game around the turn of the century and I became famous when I made Kevin Gilbert's Star Trek Mod Pack - an add-on to the game that was written about in gaming magazines around the world.

In the past ten years, as newer versions came and went - so did my interest. Until I came across Civilization Revolution of the iPhone and Touch! For this vacation I downloaded the trial and loved it.

So, where am I now? I am at the Grand Floridian - one of the few places in Disney that has wireless. Unfortunately, the wireless is dead slow and I'm stuck waiting for the full version (that I just purchased) to download. I paid $4.95 for an hour of wireless and at this rate, I think I'll be here much longer than that!

In the meanwhile, my wife is touring this resort and fuming about how long it is taking. We are suppose to be going to Epcot.

4-24-2010 Not Going Hungry
Food is one of the most expensive aspects of a Disney vacation. Usually, we eat lite. We buy some groceries and eat off the children's menu. But not this trip! For this trip we were eligible for a free dinning plan, which was $300 cheaper than our traditional efforts. There has been so much food - it has been difficult to eat it all. We get one sit down restaurant per day - something we could never afford traditionally. We go to buffets and pig out. We get one fast food meal per day - but instead of getting normal children menu items, we are get meals that are difficult to finish (even for me!). And then we get snacks during the day - drinks, popcorn, pretzels, etc.

Right now, we have a ton of unused credits - I don't think we'll be able to use them all before we leave.

And the groceries I bought? Most of them are unopened. We are going to have to use the groceries to give the maid a food basket with her tip!

Why Hospitals Are So Cold
Anywhere a large group of people gather at Disney (in buss es, theaters, rooms, etc) it is freezing cold. A bus driver explained why.

They did an experiment. They took nail clippings and put them in a dish for 3 days in a warm and humid room. In the end? The nail clippings were covered with mold. By keeping things cold, there is less of a chance for germs to be transmitted from one person to another.

That's also why hospitals are freezing cold.

4-25-2010 Working Too Hard On Vacation
After marriage and kids, you fall into predictable roles. While on vacation, I would get up early, get ready, get breakfast, and then sit around and complain how late we were for an hour while my wife got herself and the kids ready.

Around ten years ago, I decided to fix the problem. I put my system analysis hat on and started documenting everything she did to get us ready to leave. This produced a checklist that I was able to follow.

Now, I still get up early. But while my wife is getting ready for our vacation days, I get everyone else ready and do everything else on the checklist. And wow - it is a lot of work! I'm exhausted!!! Life was easier when I sat around complaining.

Can You Walk and Talk?
My daughter can walk and text. It has been non stop everywhere we go. "I am drinking a frozen pink lemonade" and then "the pink lemonade left me thirsty so now I am drinking water."

And Then Came The Tornadoes
When we arrived at the Polynesian for dinner, the TV in the lounge was warning of a storm and the weather channel web site had a severe weather warning. We ate dinner overlooking a lake with the Disney castle on the far side. We had front row seats for watching the storm. Uncharacteristic for the Gilbert Family, we were inside and safe. The wind bent the trees side ways and the sky dropped hail. The rain was so heavy that we couldn't see the lake! Normally, we'd be outside in this and get soaked. But not this time!

After the sever weather warning passed, we broke out the rain gear and went back into the park.

4-26-2010 When You Have A Hair In Your Mouth...
My youngest has a horrible gag reflex. When he had a hair in his mouth, be barfed all over the hotel room trying to get it out of his mouth.

Ugh....

He made such a mess! I spent all morning doing laundry. We didn't get to the park until 3pm!

4-27-2010 Early Flight
We had a great direct flight back to Buffalo, but when we were planning the trip, my 16-year-old wasn't sure she could go, so, we didn't book it and lost the good flight. We had to pick an 8am flight with layover in Atlanta.

We returned from the parks around 11pm last night and spent 2 hours packing for the return trip. The alarm woke us up at 3 AM!!!!!! With two hours sleep, we got ready, checked out, and made it to the bus stop. The bus picked us up at 445 and we arrived at the airport at 6am. That was crazy! I don't ever want to do that again!

We had the free dinning plan during this trip. Each person got a fast food meal, a table service meal, and a snack each day. At first, we didn't think that would be enough food. But after doing buffets, we were stuffed for the rest of the day. When it is hot and you are walking 40 miles per day, you don't feel like eating. Nevertheless, we did fast food for dinner - half pound bacon cheeseburgers (even for the kids!). By last night, we had 14 unused snacks and 7 unused fast food meals, so, we blew points buying bananas and brownies and muffins and water for breakfast this morning. But we were too tired to eat it. Most of it went in the garbage at the airport (can't take it easily through security)

Remember that suitcase that we paid $65 on the way to Rochester? It cost $75 on the way home for it. We did everything we could do to shrink it, but no luck. It was still two inches too long and they wouldn't cut us any slack. I think those airline people work on commission because they really put the screws to you!

As we passed through security, I got pulled out of line so the could check my hands for gun powder or explosives or something. While they were working on me, they were giving an old nun a pat down in front of me.

It is 11:30 and we are flying somewhere over the Carolina's now. Soon we'll be in Buffalo. I hope I can find my car! The, we stop at That Taco Place in Batavia for the ride home.

We've had neighbors who have spent a year trying to sell their home so they can move to Florida. He just got a job in Florida and I am told they'll be gone before we get home. They have a sale pending on their house too. I can't blame them for wanting to leave New York's taxes and weather! It was beautiful in Florida this trip!

35 YEARS AGO TODAY

The following appeared in the April 16, 1975 edition of the Andover newspaper:

A.C.S Alumni Dinner-Dance Set For May 24th

At a recent meeting of the ACS Alumni Committee plans for the Annual Dinner-Dance and Meeting were completed. It will be held on Saturday, May 24 at the Eagles Club on the Hornell-Almond Road beginning with a Dutch Treat Cocktail Hour from 5:30 - 6:30 p.m. A Roast Beef dinner at 6:45 will be followed by a brief program and business meeting. Dancing to the music of Gary Cook's "Country Express" will complete the festivities from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m.

The cost for teh dinner will be $5.50 per person including tax and gratuity. The Eagles Club is donating the music. A gala affair in being promised by the Eagles Club since our dinner dance will be the only commitment taken by the club for that day.

Letters with further details will be in the mail before April 30 with reservation deadline on May 15. Any interested person is invited to attend. Persons who are not on the mailing list may make reservations by calling Mrs. Kenneth Milligan xxx-xxxx or Mrs. robert A. Baker xxx-xxx

ANDOVER MAPLE FESTIVAL 2010

I'm not sure who Andre Kahl is, but he has some pictures of the 2010 Andover Mapbel Festival on his blog. Check it out:

http://andrewkahlphotography.com/blogwp/2010/03/29/andover-maple-festival-2010/

Did you attend this year? What did you think about it?

ANDOVER WATER COLOR

I came across this water color and thought I'd share it with you. This is from Natasha Ott, a young artist living in Andover. She does water colors and pencil drawings. If you are looking for something to hang in your house to remind you of Andover, you might want to look her up. You can find more information at http://www.skillwho.com/users/watercolor-painting/ny/andover/natasha-ott/e04100cd-55e7-4481-9dc2-f62fb884888d/

CLASS OF 88 ON FACEBOOK

I was talking with Mark several months ago and he mentioned that many members of the Class of 88 were on Facebook. So, I decided to give it a try. I found many people from our class were online: Amy, Cheri, Chris, Dave, Dawn, Debbie, Eric, Heather, James, Johnny, Julie, Kelly, Kim, Laura, Linda, Lisa, Meghan, Michelle, Patty, Pete, Rob, Stefanie, Sue, Toni, and Tracey (just to name a few). There were even friend of old such as Grant and Jon.

I was very excited and found Facebook a great venue to catch up with people, some of which I hadn't seen in 20 years. It was interesting to see what they were doing and where they were living. In just minutes, I was quickly brought up to speed.

I tried to be as interactive as possible and attempted to post something everyday - even if it was just something silly. After several months, however, the newness wore off and I became bored. I am sorry to all my friends, but, reading about nap time and beer time every week tends to get old.

If you are associated with the Class of 88, I would highly recommend joining Facebook and "friending" your classmates. However, Facebook isn't going to be a daily routine that fills you with riveting information about your classmates. Check back weekly or monthly (instead of daily) to see what everyone has been up to . Most importantly, contribute interesting content. As classmates, we have a lifelong bond and interest in each other's lives, so, tell us what is going on.

Join facebook today and look me up. I'm Kevin Gilbert in Hilton, NY at cnetbuild@yahoo.com

LETTER FROM MR. MACCREA

I wanted to share with you a letter I received from Mr. MacCrea:

Hello, Kevin!

How very good it is to have word from you! Good Heavens! It doesn't seem possible that you graduated that long ago! In my mind's eye I still see you as a very young, quite beardless lad about to embark upon his life's great adventure.

I still manage to lead a fairly active life. I am fortunate in that I have a very close family and I see teh sons and grandsons wuite regularly. My wife has been gone for a little over a year now. I still miss her very much, but I would not have it any other way. God gave us 53 very wonderful years together, and I could never have been married to anyone other than her. Somehow, from teh moment that we met, we knew, and the first kiss bound us in an almost inexpicable way to one another. God is good! ("Allahu Akbar" ?).

Give me a call if you return to this area. I would very much like to see you again. I would hope that your life goes well and that you are finding this earthly sojourn to be as enlightening, as wonderful, as I have found it to be.

Blessings, with fond memories, "MacCrea"

COFFEE MUG CELEBRATES ANDOVER

Looking for a Christmas Present? Tell me what's wrong with this:

http://www.amazon.com/US-State-Flag-ANDOVER-York/dp/B002PS8LHE/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&s=miscellaneous&qid=1271277738&sr=8-9

You guessed it! If is a coffee mug! If it was a beer mug, they might sell a couple of them. But a coffee mug?

NEED A MAP?

I found this to be hilarious.
http://www.amazon.com/Street-Road-Map-Andover-York/dp/B002ULMB7C/ref=sr_1_2/177-5901340-2214450?ie=UTF8&s=office-products&qid=1271277157&sr=8-2

It is a map of the village of Andover for $9.99 (normally $19.99). Andover is a very small village. If you need a map to get around Andover... something is seriously wrong. And even at 50% off, if you are willing to pay $9.99 for the map? Then you are a fool who needs to be parted with their money. I could draw this map on the back of a postage stamp in 60 seconds and save you the cost! The map is completly worthless because there aren't "X's" marking the location of all the bars.

If you haven't been home in a while, you might want to consider getting this map. The last thing you want to do is end up on Greenwood street on some dark night unable to find your way back to Elm Street.

ANDOVER STATISTICS

Here's some trivia information about Andover from Wikipedia. A bunch of information you never really wanted to know:

The 2000 census reported 1,073 people lived in the village. This included 432 households. 30.6% of those households had children. 53.9% of them were occupied by married couples. 14.8% percent of them has someone living alone who was 65 years of age or older. The average family size was 3.09.

26% of the population was under the age of 18 while 16.3% were 65 years or older. And probably explaining many things, for every 100 females there were 94.78 males. For every 100 females age 18 and over, there were only 89 males.

The medium income in the village was $31,563. Around 12% of the population was below the poverty line.

And just in case anyone was wondering, the elevation of Andover is 1,660 feet.

IS CLASSMATES.COM A RIP OFF?

Many members of the Class of 1988 have registered with Classmates.com.

http://www.classmates.com/community/class/list?communityID=8210066&communityType=7

Is it worth your time and effort? Or is Classmates.com a rip off? Personally, I think Classmates.com is a waste of time. The free version is filled with advertisements, runs very slow, and has limited functionality. The interface is too busy and not intuitive. If you forget your password, then you have to create a new account (many classmates have created 2 or 3 accounts).

You are continually hounded to buy the gold membership. The payment starts at $2.46 per month. Don't take this the wrong way - I like everyone in the Class of 88. I just don't $30/year like you. Especially given the limited functionality of Classmates.com. For example, if you want Classmates.com to pass a person's address to google maps so you can see where they live on a map - you have to get a gold membership. Come on! If you were suckered into the Gold Membership, please leave a comment on your thoughts about it. Am I wrong?

Most of the information is outdated and members log on infrequently. I have yet to find an easy way to see new content without clicking through every class member. One of the banners said "Have you seen the latest pictures of " and has a listing of classmates. I clicked on one and the pictures were over three years old!

If you are desperate and really want to reconnect, there is information on Classmates (other than outdated pictures). If you really want to see answers to answers to silly surveys (your favorite indoor activity is cooking), then Classmates is for you. If you want to read messages that people left for each other (usually thinking they were private messages), it could be a lot of fun.

Like all social networks, you have to pay attention to privacy. Mind your manners. Be careful what you write. But Classmates takes these concerns a step further. Your actions on Classmates are tracked and reported. If you look at a classmate's profile, they will be notified via email (unless you remember to click "Remove Visit"). There is no lurking on Classmates - your activities are a matter of public record.

There are better tools if you'd like to stay in touch. The one that comes immediately to mind? The Class of 88 web site: http://GilbertInternetTV.com/88 . Need something that is more interactive? Try Facebook - many of us are online.

ANDOVER WEBCAM

Are you home sick? Want to visit Andover? There is a webcam sitting on top of the school that overlooks the valley. Using the Time-Lapse button, you can watch the fog roll off the valley and lift off the hills. Watch the sun set in the west. Or see the sun rise stretch light across the town. Check it out, and nominate it for the best webcam.


http://www.instacam.com/showcam.asp?id=ANDCS@size=L

POST CARDS FROM ANDOVER

Want to send someone a post card from Andover? Visit this site:

http://www.epodunk.com/cgi-bin/createPostcard.php?cardNum=1704422

ANDOVER FOURTH OF JULY 2009
Did you miss the Andover fourth of July? Melanie Streeter has some pictures available on the Wellsville Daily Reporter web site:

http://www.wellsvilledaily.com/news/x135740005/SLIDE-SHOW-Fourth-of-July-in-Andover

DEF LEPPARD DOES DARIEN LAKE

Gunter Glieben Glauchen Globen. Musically, I live by two rules: (1) You can never play enough U2. (2) There is only one way to turn Def Leppard: up!

Several years ago, I had the opportunity to see U2 in Vegas. As hard as I've tried, I have never been able to get into another U2 concert. Even though I've seen U2, I have never seen Def Leppard.

On June 25th, I heard a radio commercial that Def Leppard was coming to Darien Lake, so, I called Linda to get some tickets. Come to find out, the concert was in two days and the only seats left were ten rows back from the stage. Without hesitation, I ordered those great seats.

It has been a long time since I've done a concern at Darien Lake and much has changed. The concert arena has grown-up and looks very professional. This concert featured Cheap Trick, Poison, and Def Leppard. Cheap Trick was stuck at the airport, so, we got a double-dose of Poison. Then Def Leppard came on and played all my favorites.

I became concerned the concert would be ruined by the drunk standing next to Linda. After he tried to pick a fight with a family man sitting in front of us and spilt beer on Linda I was ready to get it on and yelled "Did he just spill beer on you?" Linda calmed me down and I came to realize that getting beer dumped on you is just part of going to a concert. What would a concert me without that?

The drunk stumbled off with his girlfriend halfway through the show, fell in the aisle, and never made it back to his seats.

Aside from the disruption, the concert was awesome. I left def and happy.

THE WELLSVILLE TEXAS HOT
Two texas hots, hold the onion. Fries with gravy. And a vanilla shake. Everyone has their favorite Texas Hot combination. That's mine.

There really is no other restaurant in the world like the Wellsville Texas Hot. Often, when returning to Andover, we have to put the Texas Hot on our dinner plans.

Over the years, we have tried to replicate the tastes of the Texas Hot at home. You can purchase a jar of sauce. With the right kind of hot dogs and the right kind of buns, you can get close - but never close enough.

In recent years, we have found Coach Tony's - a hot dog sauce similar to the Texas Hot sauce, but with more of a black pepper taste. Coach Tony's is fine, but pales in comparison to the real thing.

The best way to enjoy a Texas Hot? The traditional way. Stand in line and wait for a booth. Then cram a family of 5 into a booth made for 4. Let the youngest play with the juke box and spill sugar all over the table. And then enjoy a great meal served lightening fast.

The second best way to enjoy a Texas Hot is to get your order to go. The hot dogs will all be smashed and shushed together, but the french fries will be steamed soft and perfect.

Visiting the Wellsville Texas Hot brings back great memories. Little has changed in the past thirty years - including many of the people who still work there. Familiar faces, familiar food, and great memories.

To read the entire Gilbert Family Vacation 2009 to Disney World, check out this link:

Still Writing

Gilbert Family Vacation
Chapter 4
The Black Cloud

We often joke there is a black cloud hanging over our house. Our house must have been built atop an old Indian Burial Ground because we’ve always had the worse luck. I am convinced that someday I’ll arrive home from work to a scene right out of Poltergeist where a swirling black cloud sucks our house into oblivion. If it isn’t an old Indian Burial Ground, then how else can you explain it?

The van is repaired and my mother is home from her trip to St. Mary’s Mental Hospital. We are in the final stretches of vacation preparation with less than three weeks to go. Like the project manager I am, I have developed our Work Breakdown Structure complete with tasks printed on a calendar detailing everyone’s responsibilities. The charter has been signed off, the specifications completed, and the executive sponsor (my wife) is onboard. We are knee deep in the execution phase of our family project. Each night, every family member (even the 5-year-old) updates the project with their task progress.

The first week passes and everything is on schedule – a testimony to my acute project management skills. As we enter the second week, my wife calls me. “You Mom wants to go back to the hospital.”

I talked with my mother because she didn’t feel good, she can’t explain it, and she doesn’t know what is wrong. I immediately think she is having a panic attack, so I ask her what is going on. “I don’t want you to go to Florida,” she admits. “You don’t realize how much I rely on you!”

“Mom, we have a large network of friends,” I calmly explained, ”You and John will be fine,” (John is my father). “I want you to get a follow-up doctor’s appointment to make sure everything with the UTI is fine.”

My mother visited her doctor where, as a matter of routine, they check her pulse and determine it was irregular. Now, when I go to the gym, I strive to keep my heart rate around 145. If I can get it to 150 – I am doing a really hard work-out. Her heart was 160 beats per minute. “Can you feel your heart beating that fast?” the doctor asked her.

“No,” she answered. “I feel perfectly fine!” And with that, she took her third ambulance ride to a hospital, and I spent another all-nighter in an Emergency room before they finally admitted her into a room.

Doctors practice medicine. They have to practice because they never get it right. That is why people have to be patients. You have to be patient while the doctor practices on you. And so, for a week my mother is poked and prodded and zapped and electrically burned. They gave her medicine that make her heart go nuts just so they could see if they could get it to return to normal. They crammed this down her throat and that in her nose. She has taken it all in stride and only really complains about how long it takes to get ice for her drinking water.

T Minus three days before we depart

I had a lengthy conversation with my Mother’s nurse. Should we cancel the vacation? I’d hate to get to the Pennsylvania border and have to turn around! The nurse assured me that everything was fine and we should go enjoy ourselves in Florida. Our concerns immediately shifted to ‘who is going to take care of the dog and cat? Who is going to make sure my Dad gets fed (because he is Microwave Illiterate)? Who is going to bring my mother home from the hospital?’ Luckily, our long list of friends are willing to volunteer to help. I was able to sit in my easy chair, relax, and take a deep breath. This vacation was really going to happen!

T Minus two days before we depart

“Do you want to buy a new van?” my wife asked.

“Why? Are you having trouble getting our deposit back from my attempt to get us one?” I laughed.

“Well, yes,” she answered, “but that’s not the reason. Our van died on the way to work this morning.”

Have you ever had one of those days when nothing seems to go right? Have you ever had a bad luck stream last for a week? Or a month? How about years – have you ever had a bad luck stream last for years? If your house was built on an old Indian Burial Ground, your answer would be “Why, yes!” If your name was Craig T. Nelson, you would warn me about the big black cloud, dead bodies in the pool, and voices coming out of your television. If, on the other hand, you are part of the normal population – all this must seem very odd to you. For me, this is just ‘A Day in the Life of the Gilberts’.

“Since you had YOUR chance to get us a van,” she chaffed, “it is now MY turn. I am going with my friends tonight to find us a new van.”

There is only one answer any self-respecting husband can provide to such a rude and arrogant remark: “Yes, Dear.”

And so, as a pride of cougars on a nightly hunt, the three women went after unsuspecting salesmen. They tore them apart! They made them squeal! They made them beg for mercy! And they came home with a deal that is… well… let’s just say it is huge Rochester. Huge. “We leave town in 37 hours and you are going to buy a Kia?” I asked my wife.

“I don’t know. I don’t think I really liked the van.”

Oh no. I don’t like where this is going!

Holiday Roooooo oh oh oh oh oh oh oad. Holiday Roooooo oh oh oh oh oh oh oad.’

Gilbert Family Vacation
Chapter 3: My Aunt Edna



Every chance you get, tell people that you want to live. No matter what the circumstances (location, time of day, what you ate for lunch), tell people you want to live. Because I’ve never had a Urinary Track Infection (UTI), but I’ve come to understand they can be very painful. Recently, a beautiful young model in South America developed a UTI that expanded into her blood stream. Doctors tried saving her by cutting off her hands and feet. I’m uncertain how dismembering someone helps with painful peepees, but that was the medical thinking at the moment. Dismembered and peepeeless, the model died within a week.

My mother has had complained about aches and pains for a long time but refused to go to the doctor until one evening (only three weeks from the start of our vacation) the urge struck her to such a degree, she gladly took an ambulance ride to the first doctor they could find. As she was diagnosed with UTI, the nurse asked her to measure her pain on the scale on 1 to 10. Her unfortunate response was “The pain is so bad, I wish I were dead!” And thus the dilemma. In today’s modern age of high technology and big thinkers, one can not wish they were dead (even due to UTI) unless, through obvious conclusion, they have suicidal tendencies. By law of the great state of New York, such a statement prompts a psychological evaluation.

When it comes to purchasing cars, I am much smarter due to a story a friend sent me: Confessions of a Car Salesman. I have learned car salesmen make you wait so the salesman can control you. I guess that is why you have to wait so long at the emergency room: they want to have control over you. They want to beat you submissively until you can not longer question the $10 Advil.

Even though my mother’s ambulance arrived to the hospital at exactly 5:15pm, it wasn’t until 1:00am that my mother was diagnosed with UTI and given her first dose of antibiotics. Unfortunately, the story doesn’t end there. Remember my mother’s rabid attempts at suicide when she arrived at the emergency room (complaining about the pain)? That requires a trip to the county psych ward for the psychological evaluation. My mother’s second ambulance ride was to St. Mary’s in downtown Rochester. As they loaded her into the ambulance at 1am, after 8 agonizingly long and terribly boring hours waiting at the ER, I only had one thought on my mind: “I wonder if Taco Bell is still open for Fourth Meal?” Because if a man is to stay awake all night, he needs Mexican substance.

After a satisfying Taco run, I allowed my GPS to steer me into the deep bowls of the city. This was clearly not a neighborhood I would want to be caught in after sun-down (much less after 1am). After parking in a very scary parking garage, I couldn’t find an unlocked door into the hospital. “This must seem odd,” I thought, “I am trying to break into a mental institution.”

I stood at the main entrance waving my arms frantically to a security guard within. He seemed un-phased (probably due to how normal my antics to get his attention must have seemed to him). “You have to go to the emergency entrance,” he explained.

“How do I get there?”

“It is on the other side of the hospital,” he motioned with his hand. After walking completely around the entire city block in the cold dark of night in a neighborhood I should not have been in, I reached the emergency room entrance to find that same security guard that coldly greeted me before. “I am glad you found it,” he waved me inside while looking around the parking lot, “This isn’t a very safe neighborhood, you know?”

‘Then why didn’t you let me take the way you took?’ I thought, but did not say.

Mom had already been taken in, and after passing through two security check points, I was allowed to see her. I had to leave all my belongings at one of the security check points because the crazies might take them from me and use them. I considered removing my belt because someone might tackle me, rip it from me, and run off to hang themselves. But I’ve recently lost weight and know the belt was my pants only savior from gravity – I pulled my sweater down to hide my belt from the guards and decided to take my chances.

I found my mother in a large brightly lit completely white room. There were only two items in the room – an uncomfortable gurney , and a TV within a wood plexi-glass cage. From the hall way came screams and incoherent babble from the other guests. If you weren’t crazy before entering this place, you had a good fighting chance to become crazy before leaving!

The entire visit to the psych ward was because my mother failed to tell someone she wanted to live. Instead, she admitted the pain was killing her. Therefore, I must repeat and plead with you – please, at every turn in your life, tell people that you wish to live. Anything less and you risk a short trip to St Mary’s in the middle of the night.

As we waited for the psychologist, I asked “How long do you think you’ve had a UTI?”

“At least 2 or 3 months,” she admitted. 2 or 3 months? At least? I get ornery if there isn’t an ample supply of 2-ply Extra-soft Charmin, and she lived with this for 2 or 3 months?

A psychologist interviewed my mother and determined she possessed the appropriate amount of insanity to be released. But by now it was 4am, and I needed to get up for work in 30 minutes. I was just glad to get to bed before I needed to get up!

The next day, I visited my mother to see how she was doing. She seemed unsatisfied with her eleven hours of medical car. “I still don’t feel very good,” she admitted. Oh no. We are set to leave in only three weeks. I don’t like where this is going!

Holiday Roooooo oh oh oh oh oh oh oad. Holiday Roooooo oh oh oh oh oh oh oad.’

Chapter 2
The search for the pea green station wagon.

In the movie RV, Robin Williams traded plane tickets for an RV rental so he could take his family on a cross country journey. I imagined trading our broken mini-van for a new, giant van that had all the modern bells and whistles!

Our current van was a giant mistake, and I was sure not to be taken by another salesman. I did my research. I determined what I was willing to pay per month, how much I would put down, and how much I wanted for a trade-in. So, as we drove to the dealership, I lectured Linda on what we would and would not do. I would be in control of the deal this time. All Linda needed to do was stay quit let me do all the talking!

When we arrived, Linda dutifully let me be in control. I told the salesman I was interested in two vans: a silver 2008, and if we couldn't afford that, a blue 2006. After a test drive, he showed us a brand new red 2008 that had all the bells and whistles. "OK," I said confidently, "Lets see what the red 2008 would cost too."

Our Salesman, Mr. Tobacco, went to talk with his manager. I don't know why sales guys always talk to their managers, and leave you waiting for twenty minutes. I guess there is a long line at the manager’s office, and our sales guy has to argue really hard for us. Tobacco returned with two prices. "The new Red one is $430 per month."

I laughed, "OK, that isn't happening." I made it clear, I wanted the monthly payment to be under $250.

"We are in luck then, the silver van is only $285 per month." Looking back, I understand the sales tactics. But sitting there at the moment, I didn't see what was happening. They knew we couldn't afford the most expensive van on the lot - this was just for contrast. Luckily it didn't work - I was on my game!

"We can't afford that. Besides, you did 72 months on a used van, I'm not doing more then 60. Lets talk about that blue 2006."

Tobacco thought fast, "I don't want to sell you something you don't want. How can we make this work? Could you put more money down? Could you go to, say, $260 per month?"

At that point, I cracked. I looked to Linda and she gave me the “You are in charge, Mr. Man,” look. I looked back to Tobacco and without my knowledge, the initiative shifted to the salesman. He presented me something I wanted and then told me I couldn't have it - a standard salesman ploy and I fell for it! "OK," I offered, "Throw on another $500 down, but it has to be under $260/mo.”

After another trip from the manager's office, Tobacco explained "I can get your payment between $240 and $259 if you go 66 months instead of 60."

I really didn't want to go beyond 5 years... but what's another six months? I looked to Linda and she was clearly taking a hands-off approach, “What ever you want, *dear*,” she said sarcastically.

I had lost the initiative and was now nerves. "I need to take another look at the van." Linda and I went outside and looked the van over one more time, then returned.

"What did you decide?" Mr. Tobacco asked.

I still wasn't sure where this was going to land financially and had a hundred questions. "Let's try the 66 months" I started.

To my surprise, Tobacco stood with hand outstretched "Congratulations Mr. Gilbert on purchasing a van." I just did what? "How would to like to take care of the down payment?"

Still shocked, I handed him my credit card. I guess we just agreed to buy the van! The shock wore off and was replaced with excitement! We just bought a van!

When Tobacco left with my credit card, I stood and did my happy dance 'we just bought a va-a-a-an!'

I looked to my lovely bride to join the celebration and found her sitting with arms folded. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing," she frowned.

The celebration was crashing. "Come on! We just bought a van. We need to celebrate!," I explained.

Tobacco returned with my credit card receipt. "There are several people in line before you at the business office, so, I'll take care of all the details and call the bank on Monday so you don’t have to wait." Gee, that was nice of him!

With that, Tobacco took us to the exit, congratulated us, and pushed us out the front door.

I was still living high from my celebration and doing my happy dance as we walked back to our car. "What did we just do?" Linda asked.

"We just bought a Va-aa-an" I sung.

We got in the car and started driving away. "Yes. But what did we just buy?"

"I don't understand the question."

"How much does the van cost?"

I couldn't understand why she was being so silly. "The van cost between $240 and $259 per month."

"Yes, but which one? What was the final price on the van? Does that include an extended warranty? What did we just buy?" The logic of her questions was depressing. "You broke all of your rules. You went longer than 5 years, you put too much down, and you went to high on the monthly payment. Do you know you are paying them $200 to take our trade-in?" Wow, was I in the same room with her? Why didn't I see any of this? "You are such a sucker and that guy just ripped you off!" What happened?
Sadly, I called the dealership’s business office and confirmed everything Linda had just told me. Linda continued to rub it in, “We don’t have time to continue shopping. If we don’t take this deal, we’ll have to get the old van repaired!” And there it was… Mr. Man crumbles into his typical failure.

And so it was. I canceled the deal and we decided to repair the old van. When we returned home, I needed to take the van to the mechanic so he could begin the repairs. However, when I turned the van’s ignition, the engine made two clicks and failed to start! Oh no…. I don’t like where this is going!


‘Holiday Roooooo oh oh oh oh oh oh oad. Holiday Roooooo oh oh oh oh oh oh oad.’

Ahhhhh... memories of Clark Groswold's cross-country trek to Walley World dance through my head. Loading the family into their new pea-green station wagon, Clark headed out into classic movie history. Who can forget that theme song? http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=8493&aid=19

There I was, sitting in a meeting at work when conversation drifted off topic and onto Disney. "Have you seen the great deal Disney is offering?" Nick mentioned. "Buy 4 nights, get 3 free. It includes park tickets and a $200 gift card for only $1200!"

Immediately, my mind raced through the financials. I have used a Disney Credit card for years, earning 1% toward a Disney vacation. I had built $1050 worth of points. That, plus the gift card equals FREE DISNEY VACATION!

It took absolutely no convincing Linda - she would live at Disney if she could. If we could simply get to Disney, we could have a free vacation. The economy is difficult, so, our goal? Minimize costs. We'll drive instead fly. And eat picnic lunches, poptarts for breakfast, and McDonald's dollar meals for dinner. Driving would be 48-hours of “stop touching me!” caged quality family time. I was on the fence about affording the trip, so, I asked Linda to book it (before the vacation offer expired) during the February break so long as we could cancel it. This would allow us to think about it. We could take our time to weigh the costs and consider our options.

Before Christmas, Linda booked the vacation. While at the Disney web site, she selected an offer to have Mickey Mouse call the kids on Christmas to wish them Merry Christmas! On Christmas morning, while the kids were unwrapping gifts and the Disney Parade is on TV, the phone rang and it was Mickey Mouse. We put Mickey on speaker phone: "Merry Christmas Kids! I just heard you are coming to visit me at Disney World. I look forward to seeing you then!"

My jaw dropped - what did Mickey just say? The kid's eyes lit up and they screamed "We are going to Disney!" My jaw was still dropped – what did Mickey just say?

"We are?" I asked in disbelief. We had simply made a reservation, but hadn't decided. I guess Mickey made the decision for us – as far as the kids were concerned: we were going to Disney!

My daughter used her new cell phone (Christmas Present) to immediately text to all of her friends “We are going to Disney!”

Our phone rang again. This time it was our friend Lisa. “I hear you are going to Disney for the February Break”

“Uhm, yep. I guess news travels fast.”

“I just talked to my husband,” Lisa explained, “and asked if we could go with you and he said we could!”

This was very unexpected. It’s great – we’ve known Lisa for 12 years, her daughter is best friends with our daughter, she’s the godmother of one of my sons. My delayed enthusiasm was the slow realization that something out of my control was happening very quickly. This Disney dream was suddenly a done deal and I still hadn’t had my first cup of coffee.

“We can stay at the same resort and have adjoining rooms,” Lisa suggested.

“Oh…,” I tried to process what I was hearing, “I… I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” My youngest son can be a bit of a terror and difficult to control. He would easily victimize our friends. Besides – we aren’t early risers. We usually get to the Disney parks around noon or 1 in the afternoon. Lisa is a rise-and-shine kinda 7am person.

“Don’t worry about it. It’ll be fine. I’ll just tell Disney that Linda and I are sisters.”

The movement of time during the past days (or has it been weeks?) is a blur. You can’t simply go to Disney – this is a major event requiring significant planning. Where are we going? What are we doing? How do we get there? What time will Donald Duck be standing on the corner of the park we’ll be attending and what angle will the sunlight be to obtain the perfect photograph of our children hugging Donald and screaming “We Love Disney!”? All this has to be carefully and meticulously planned in advance. Does the Turkey sandwich at the ABC Commissary at the Hollywood Studios Park (formally MGM) have tomatoes? Because we don’t like tomatoes and can you special order one without? You need to know these things weeks in advance of going! If the fireworks end at 8:30, will we return from the park in time to get Margaritas at the resort so we can drink ourselves into a slosh before closing time? There are many essential things that must be carefully calculated and planned into precise itineraries. Because if you don’t, you end up wandering through the flood of people, standing in massive lines, and never really doing anything.


Nearly 4 years ago, I wanted to go to Hershey Pennsylvania on vacation. I hadn’t had a vacation in years, and by God – this was going to be a good one. To make the trip, we needed a van. So, we foolishly and impulsively purchased a piece of junk that had a big price tag. We bought it for all the bells and whistles because it had the complete extra package. “Nice radio… good paint job… lets buy it!” The van has been nothing but trouble, and we are still paying on the 5-year loan!

Tom (Lisa’s husband) is an engineer and a hobby mechanic who has done repairs on our van. “Is your van going to make it to Florida?” he asked one morning at breakfast.

“If our van can’t drive another 3 thousand miles”, I proudly explained, “then we have bigger problems then whether or not it’ll get us to Florida!”

Tom is a good friend, so, he didn’t question the logic of my statement. He probably should have because we decided to get the van checked out to make sure it could make the trip. The garage called back with a laundry list of problems and a repair estimate that made the dollars start to curl.

“You know,” Linda responded to my tirade at the estimate, “there are some great deals on new vans. We could trade-in the van and drive to Florida in a brand new van!” A new van? What happened to keeping this trip cheap? I don’t like where this is heading….

Didn’t Clark Grisswald go to Wallyworld in a brand new station wagon? All we need to do if find a pea-green mini-van and we’ll be all set!

‘Holiday Roooooo oh oh oh oh oh oh oad. Holiday Roooooo oh oh oh oh oh oh oad.’

2008 is coming to a close. I hope everyone had a great Christmas! Do you have any memories of 2008 you'd like to share?

Hello Mark...and everyone else,

It was nice hearing from you. I like the idea of typing a little something from time to time! Not much is going on with me, but I wish our gas price was that low. Right now in Dansville it is around $4.16 and since all I do about every single night is drive somewhere to play softball, and then drive to the bar that sponsors us...$3.57 would be nice!

I have not seen a movie in a really long time! I think the last one I saw was at the little theatre in Rochester. I think it was called "The Orphanage" at it was subtitled, but it was pretty scary so I liked it. I am all about scary movies, that is like all I watch!

I do watch a bit of tv though. I love Monk, Psych, In Plain Sight, The Closer, Saving Grace, and Intervention. Thank God for DVR!

I actually planted some vegetables for the first time this year, and they are growing like crazy...it's so cool. I wish I would have done it before. My friend also gave me a blueberry bush and I have had tons already! As far as your Japanese beetles go, there is something you can buy that is like a bag or something and you put it a ways from your plants, and it attracts the beetles to that instead, and I think it kills them but I'm not sure! I hate those things, if they aren't killing the plants, they are landing in my hair and freaking me out. YUCK!

Anyway, it's been great having the summer off although I am extremely lazy, and I am just praying that I win the lotto so I don't have to go back to work! I should not complain though, I still have a whole other month off! That's a lot more time to play online poker, which I am addicted to...so if anyone plays on full tilt, let me know your screen name and we can play together!

Well I hope everyone is well. Drop me an e-mail, I love to get them, and it will pull me away from the poker (thank got I don't play for real money)!

Hope to hear from you all soon!

Patty

From Mark :

Fellow Class mates. -

Hello from Central Ohio.In an effort to keep in touch, I thought I might send out a note to to let you all know that sadly life goes on. ;-) Thought I'd do something monthly. But will try not to bore you.

For all those who think it is interesting Gas is at a supposed low right now at $3.57, I know, I should stock up, but where am I going to put it?

If your a Sci-Fi fan, I like the X-Files movie, if your a fan it is okay. If not save your money for Mama Mia. A movie I probably won't see.

Of Course WALL-E was good, the kids loved it, being an Apple/Pixar fan, I liked it too.

I didn't see the Incredible Hulk yet. I like the Marvel movies, if it worth the $1.00 when it hits the dollar theater here in the city?

My Apple(fruit) Tree, broke a branch the other day due to so many apples on the branch. Any one have a fix for what looks like Japanese Beetles in my tree? What kind of spray do I spray or am I do late? These bugs have either a shiny brown or green back on them. And I think they are mating.

Upper 80's to Mid 90's in the city, with popup thunderstorms in the evening. Sometimes strong enough to sound the Tornado warnings. But not too often.

Jillian my 1 yr old, is cutting more teeth. So sore bottoms, picky eating habits, and never happy with Dad holding her.
Parker, 4 yr old, just goes 100 mph. Can't find the shutdown switch.
Maran, 6 yr old, loves to play dress up, I think she will be my super model or dancer
Lauran, 8 yr old, is hook on old 80's cartoons she watches on the Internet.
Clark 16 yr old, starts his driving class for his license, and marching band camp starts again this week. Which means football season is around the corner. At least in Central ohio.

As some of us thought at one time or another, Wish Andover would have had a team. That might have been fun.

Anyway, those are my thoughts this month.

feel free to respond to shoot the breeze, if not , I understand.

Keep in touch.

Mark

20th Reunion is today at Todd Sherwoods (next to the fire hall). If you went, post your memories!

The 4th of July is coming up soon. Who is going to be in Andover for the 4th? Are you planning to attend the class re-union on the 5th?

Great news! There is room at the Alumni banquet, so, we will be attending. Add a comment and share your favorite memory!

I called this week to go to the Andover Alumni Banquet and was told it was full! In fact, so many people registered, they don't have room for everyone. I was told they are going to make accomodations for everyone who is registered, but they have no more room.

So, did you attend? Leave a comment and tell us what you thought.

From Toni Lehman: The class of 1988 will be having a 20th reunion picnic on Saturday July 5th. We are hoping for a big turn out since it's a long holiday weekend!!! Start 2:00PM. End 5:00PM. Place: TBA.Price: $20.RSVP on Classmates.com today!!