Andover Class of 88

Chapter 2
The search for the pea green station wagon.

In the movie RV, Robin Williams traded plane tickets for an RV rental so he could take his family on a cross country journey. I imagined trading our broken mini-van for a new, giant van that had all the modern bells and whistles!

Our current van was a giant mistake, and I was sure not to be taken by another salesman. I did my research. I determined what I was willing to pay per month, how much I would put down, and how much I wanted for a trade-in. So, as we drove to the dealership, I lectured Linda on what we would and would not do. I would be in control of the deal this time. All Linda needed to do was stay quit let me do all the talking!

When we arrived, Linda dutifully let me be in control. I told the salesman I was interested in two vans: a silver 2008, and if we couldn't afford that, a blue 2006. After a test drive, he showed us a brand new red 2008 that had all the bells and whistles. "OK," I said confidently, "Lets see what the red 2008 would cost too."

Our Salesman, Mr. Tobacco, went to talk with his manager. I don't know why sales guys always talk to their managers, and leave you waiting for twenty minutes. I guess there is a long line at the manager’s office, and our sales guy has to argue really hard for us. Tobacco returned with two prices. "The new Red one is $430 per month."

I laughed, "OK, that isn't happening." I made it clear, I wanted the monthly payment to be under $250.

"We are in luck then, the silver van is only $285 per month." Looking back, I understand the sales tactics. But sitting there at the moment, I didn't see what was happening. They knew we couldn't afford the most expensive van on the lot - this was just for contrast. Luckily it didn't work - I was on my game!

"We can't afford that. Besides, you did 72 months on a used van, I'm not doing more then 60. Lets talk about that blue 2006."

Tobacco thought fast, "I don't want to sell you something you don't want. How can we make this work? Could you put more money down? Could you go to, say, $260 per month?"

At that point, I cracked. I looked to Linda and she gave me the “You are in charge, Mr. Man,” look. I looked back to Tobacco and without my knowledge, the initiative shifted to the salesman. He presented me something I wanted and then told me I couldn't have it - a standard salesman ploy and I fell for it! "OK," I offered, "Throw on another $500 down, but it has to be under $260/mo.”

After another trip from the manager's office, Tobacco explained "I can get your payment between $240 and $259 if you go 66 months instead of 60."

I really didn't want to go beyond 5 years... but what's another six months? I looked to Linda and she was clearly taking a hands-off approach, “What ever you want, *dear*,” she said sarcastically.

I had lost the initiative and was now nerves. "I need to take another look at the van." Linda and I went outside and looked the van over one more time, then returned.

"What did you decide?" Mr. Tobacco asked.

I still wasn't sure where this was going to land financially and had a hundred questions. "Let's try the 66 months" I started.

To my surprise, Tobacco stood with hand outstretched "Congratulations Mr. Gilbert on purchasing a van." I just did what? "How would to like to take care of the down payment?"

Still shocked, I handed him my credit card. I guess we just agreed to buy the van! The shock wore off and was replaced with excitement! We just bought a van!

When Tobacco left with my credit card, I stood and did my happy dance 'we just bought a va-a-a-an!'

I looked to my lovely bride to join the celebration and found her sitting with arms folded. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing," she frowned.

The celebration was crashing. "Come on! We just bought a van. We need to celebrate!," I explained.

Tobacco returned with my credit card receipt. "There are several people in line before you at the business office, so, I'll take care of all the details and call the bank on Monday so you don’t have to wait." Gee, that was nice of him!

With that, Tobacco took us to the exit, congratulated us, and pushed us out the front door.

I was still living high from my celebration and doing my happy dance as we walked back to our car. "What did we just do?" Linda asked.

"We just bought a Va-aa-an" I sung.

We got in the car and started driving away. "Yes. But what did we just buy?"

"I don't understand the question."

"How much does the van cost?"

I couldn't understand why she was being so silly. "The van cost between $240 and $259 per month."

"Yes, but which one? What was the final price on the van? Does that include an extended warranty? What did we just buy?" The logic of her questions was depressing. "You broke all of your rules. You went longer than 5 years, you put too much down, and you went to high on the monthly payment. Do you know you are paying them $200 to take our trade-in?" Wow, was I in the same room with her? Why didn't I see any of this? "You are such a sucker and that guy just ripped you off!" What happened?
Sadly, I called the dealership’s business office and confirmed everything Linda had just told me. Linda continued to rub it in, “We don’t have time to continue shopping. If we don’t take this deal, we’ll have to get the old van repaired!” And there it was… Mr. Man crumbles into his typical failure.

And so it was. I canceled the deal and we decided to repair the old van. When we returned home, I needed to take the van to the mechanic so he could begin the repairs. However, when I turned the van’s ignition, the engine made two clicks and failed to start! Oh no…. I don’t like where this is going!


‘Holiday Roooooo oh oh oh oh oh oh oad. Holiday Roooooo oh oh oh oh oh oh oad.’